Chaos

I drove across Pretoria today. One of the robots was out and traffic was nightmarish. When I finally arrived at my destination there were throngs of people standing in a queue that snaked through two shopping malls - twisting, turning, suffocating any empty space in a two-block radius. There were police everywhere, strapped with guns on both thighs, carrying semi-automatic weapons and wearing bullet proof vests. They were there for crowd-control, I suppose. I couldn't figure out what was going on, so I asked someone. The occasion: World Cup tickets were available for public sale. The crowd was so thick I couldn't leave or go anywhere, so I sat in a cafe for three hours.

On my way home, two more robots were out, which affected traffic the entire way home. It took me 2 hours to make a 20-minute trip. All in all, I was "stuck" for five hours.

When I got home, I looked at the news online to see if there was anything regarding the ticket sales. There were two articles. The headlines? "Pensioner dies standing in queue for World Cup tickets" and "Police Use Pepper Spray to Control Crowd." As it turns out, there were only 11 venues across the country where tickets were being sold. I happened to pick the one place in all of Pretoria where tickets were being sold to do a little birthday shopping for my daughter.

I came up with my own headline: "Birthday shopping mommy meets South African Police Tactical Response Team, who was called in to deal with the angry, would-be ticket buyers in the crowd and asks them to explain to hubby why she won't be home for dinner." ("Hey, can I pose for a picture holding your AK-47?")

You'd think there would be an easier way to sell tickets.

Messages to Two Countries

Poland, we grieve with you. We're so sorry for your loss. You've had such a sad history, suffered so much. There are no words, but know that you're in our thoughts and prayers. We love you.

South Africa, don't throw away what you've worked so hard to accomplish in 16 years. You've come so far... please don't forget. You are in the unique position to be either a shining example to the rest of the world or another Rwanda or Zimbabwe. Make the better choice. Please make the better choice. We love you.

Sunday Quote

"For the very first time I substantially knew in the depths of my soul that I didn't have to worry about all of those other things because they were not mine to worry about. I was making it my deal, making it my baggage and making it my worry, and I didn't have to do any of that. When did I become God? When did I have to figure it all out? When did I have to come up with a position point on every single topic ever thought of in the history of mankind? I didn't; and I don't. I am allowed the ability to just trust in the faithfulness of my loving Father to fill in the gaps that I can never understand... Let the all-knowing God be God, and you be you." - Andrew Marin, Love is an Orientation

Thoughts on Recent Events

I wasn't going to write about this, even though it's been on my mind a lot lately - the killing of Eugene Terreblanche and Julius Malema's new "theme song." Then I was going to write about it, and I had a lot to say - I had quotes from several different news articles, I had opinions, I had passionate responses. And then...

Then I realised a few things:

• One more riled-up opinion from someone who's not even technically South African won't change the country for the better. It just adds to the tension and cacophony of voices.
• I cannot see myself as better than either of those two men, because God doesn't see me as better. And if God sees us all on an equal level - if Jesus died for all of us - then I cannot, dare not, elevate myself above another, whether I agree with them or not.
• I have been talking all week about the need to love people and not judge them. Here's an excellent chance to put that into practice.

I wish there was a loophole out of this. I want to get on my soapbox and tell the world how I would do things better than either Eugene Terreblanche or Julius Malema. But, truth be told, I can't. I have my own weaknesses and failings. And if Eugene Terreblanche and Julius Malema are made in the image of God, if they were knit together in their mother's womb by Holy hands, then I would do better to pray for them rather than complain.

Christians have failed so much throughout history in the area of love. We are so quick to criticise, judge, complain and lash out. But to just... love. Even if we dont't agree (especially if we don't agree). To see a person as God intends them to be. To wish them blessing instead of harm. That is so hard, so counter-intuitive. Yet I truly believe it is that very kind of love that can change the world, because it is God's unconditional love.

More Thoughts on Missing Family

So... back to Easter. As you know I was having a pity part, missing my family. I told God the night before Easter, "I just want the whole world to show up my doorstep for a big, loud, happy Easter braai. We will dirty every dish in the house and for those few hours, we will be family for each other."

Would you believe me if I told you God actually answered my prayer? Seven people came over, four of whom I had never met. One of them even said, "We'll be family for you today." And while we didn't dirty every dish in the house, we came close. We made a huge mess, we laughed, we had great conversations, and it was a dream come true.

Why do we feel so amazed when God answers our prayers? Maybe He doesn't always answer them in the way that we would like, but I think He does always answer them. Or do we not actually believe that He loves and cares for us, that He wants to surprise us by His love rather than beat us over the head? When He provides the very thing we ask for, why are we shocked?

I think God has a lot of patience to put up with us.

Thoughts on Missing Family

I just celebrated my third Easter in South Africa. I would like to say that I don't feel homesick anymore, but that would be a lie. What is strange, however, is that the homesickness takes on a different flavour each year.

The first Easter we experienced was just pure culture shock. Easter was in autumn instead of spring, there were braais instead of roast ham dinners, hot cross buns instead of Marshmallow Peeps (and let's be honest, who likes those anyway?), and the whole day was much less commercialised - no egg hunts, no fancy dresses, no bunnies and chicks or Easter baskets. Which, truth be told, was fine by me.

The second Easter we knew what to expect but I longed for the roast ham dinner with extended family, spring weather, and Cadbury Creme Eggs.

The third Easter, just a few days ago, I actually looked forward to the braai, autumn weather and was thankful that I didn't feel any pressure to do the whole chocolate egg/easter basket/dress-up thing. Church was just as meaningful without all of that - maybe even more.

I still long for my extended family and those big dinners, but instead of a roast ham dinner I wanted to fly my whole family - both sides - over here for an Easter braai.

The traditions surrounding holidays may change, depending on where you live, but the ache to be with family never really goes away.

Update on Grandma's Birthday

Well, Grandma didn't go skydiving for her 90th birthday, but she did go parasailing in Hawaii! Here's the proof: Here's to making the most of life, no matter your age. That's one thing Grandma demonstrates daily - loving God, loving people, and making the most of every opportunity. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.