Silent Retreat, Part 2

"Does this look familiar, Annie?" the Lord asked me.

"Yes, Lord, it looks like my life - dry, barren and full of rocks."

"What would you like Me to do with it?"

"Fill it up with fresh, clear, cool water," I replied.

"If I do what you ask, will the rocks still be there?" the Lord countered in reply.

"Umm, yes. I suppose they would, but at least they would be under the surface." (Oh man. He gets me every time, taking away my "quick fixes" to expose the holes in my logic and plans.)

"Will you give your rocky, barren wasteland - as you call it - to Me and let Me make of it what I will? Will you give up your plans to "fix" it and trust Me to fulfill its intended purpose? Whether I spring forth a meadow filled with lush, green grass and wildflowers, or fill it with a cool, refreshing stream, will you relinquish control?

"Yes, Lord! Yes!" I replied excitedly, as images of beautiful meadows and woodlands filled my mind."And if I choose," the Lord continued, "to leave the rocks there, will you let Me?"

"I... I guess so. After all, there would still be a refreshing stream, right? So a few rocks - a few challenges - wouldn't be so bad. I'd just have to watch my step, right?""And Annie, one more thing. What if I choose to leave it exactly as it is?"

"But... but Lord!" I protested.

"Will you still trust Me, knowing that even in the bleakest of landscapes there is life teeming beneath the surface? In a desert, in an arctic tundra, there is still life. Thriving life. I ask you again, Annie, will you give this to Me and let Me make of it what I will? I do not need your help or your advice to complete My work in you. Will you relinquish control? Will you trust Me?"

Silent Retreat, Part 1

I went on a half-day silent retreat at the Botanical Gardens. In those five hours I followed a guide that included Scripture reading, reflection, journaling and listening.

Being silent is hard for me. I think my culture has trained me to fill the silence with noise - music, TV, movies, phone calls, coffee dates. To just sit and be silent with no agenda? That is not an American cultural value. And I have bought into that.

We go and go and give and give until we end up sick, drained and exhausted. And then we push through and go and give and do some more until we end up on anti-depressants or at a day spa. How is this healthy? We value the "doers" of this world and look up to the "heroes of ministry" who did all but take care of their own bodies, which are the temple of the Holy Spirit.

So I found myself alone at the Botanical Gardens (by order of my boss), where I hiked up to the top of the dassie trail (a dassie is a rock hyrax, I think?). It was rocky and barren and full of succculents and other scrubby plants that didn't look very lush or green. And I just... sat... down.

The First Bloom

Only in South Africa can you harvest winter vegetables from your garden while simultaneously growing subtropical flowers. The other day I harvested my first batch of spinach (score one small victory for lousy gardeners all over the world). Earlier in the year I planted a bauhinia tree and a hibiscus bush. And today - ta ta ta dum! - the very first flower bloomed on my hibiscus bush:

I feel like such a proud parent. Grow, little plant, grow!

The Art of Throwing Bricks

Building a house in South Africa is a fascinating thing. Or rather, watching a house being built is a fascinating thing. I especially like to watch the brick-throwers. Here's how it works:

1. Truck delivers pallets of bricks.
2. Construction workers form assembly line.
3. Guy on the ground throws two bricks at a time to the next guy, and so on, until the guy on the top floor gets them.
4. Bricks are always thrown two at a time, and form is never broken.
5. A line of five guys can have two pairs of bricks going at any one time.

From a Western perspective it might seem a clumsy way to work, but I'm telling you those guys work so fast and throw the bricks with such grace that it's truly amazing.

Here's my point: it's easy to point out ways of doing things as being cumbersome, inefficient, archaic or just plain dumb. If you look a little closer, however, you might just find not only resourcefulness, but art and beauty. And that's worth setting aside a Western perspective to take a closer look.

Wednesday Quote

"A path led off into this stretch of bush, as paths will lead off in Africa, well-defined, tramped bare by passing feet, appearing like dusty veins when viewed from above. These paths knew where they were going, and would meander - never a straight line - turn and twist until they reached some human place, a collection of huts perhaps, a rough wooden stockade for cattle or goats, some place of gathering or labour. Or they would peter out, as if the people whose feet had made the path had suddenly remembered something and turned back, or had just forgotten why it was that they were walking that way and had had given up, handing the land back to nature." - from The Saturday Big Tent Wedding Party, by Alexander McCall Smith

I Promise to Stay at Room Temperature

If you've ever had a child with special needs, you will appreciate this. There are moment in which you want to give up entirely, moments when you can't take anymore, moments when your patience is sorely tried, and moments when you want to go back to bed and hide under the covers.

And then there are moments which make up for all of the other moments. Moments that make it all worth it. Moments that cause you to wonder why you ever questioned God. Moments that make you feel unworthy as a mother. Moments that cause you to cry for all the right reasons.

Yesterday my son wrote me a letter. It was entitled, "My Promise Scroll." Now you have to understand that this came on the heels of one of the roughest parenting weeks ever. Ben got his first detention at school. Lies were flying. Homework was missing. Parents were crying. Despair was encroaching.

Here are the contents of Ben's letter:

1. I promise not to disobey.
2. I promise to be honest.
3. I promise not to lie.
4. I promise to be loyal.
5. I promise to forgive.
6. I promise to love you forever.
7. I promise to be at room temperature.
8. I promise to be kind.
9. I promise to make the right choice.
10. I promise to be there when things are right.
11. I promise to be there when things are wrong.
12. I promise to be in the family that is forever.
13. I promise to be an Erickson.
14. I promise to be (and here he inserted his full name), who I am!!!
Love, Ben

I promise, too, Ben. I love you soooo much! And if I fail, at least I can stay at room temperature. That's one thing I can promise you for sure. (Oh, Jesus, help me to be what Ben needs me to be. Give me grace for each day and help me to see Him through Your eyes.)

Sky Blue Jesus

I'm not a big fan of lawn ornaments. South Africans seem to love them - from water features to metal cranes to stone turtles to... sky blue Jesus?

I would like to ask, "Why sky blue, of all the colours to paint a stone statue of Jesus? And why didn't you finish painting Mary?" But I have learned that when you move to another country, there are some questions to which you will never know the answer. And that's okay, because sometimes the mystery is more entertaining.