A Trip to the Veterinary School

Emma's been begging me to take her hamsters to the vet because they have - I'm guessing - hamster cholera or something similar. And only because she wants to become a veterinarian someday, I caved and made an appointment at Onderstepoort, which is close to our house and, incidentally, one of the best veterinary schools in the world.

We had to go to the "Exotic Animal Hospital" (since when did hamsters become exotic animals?). In the waiting room was a woman with a pygmy marmoset stuck in her hair (at least, that's what it looked like). She was a sweet grandma-type and said to me, half-apologetically, "He has strange seeds in his poo." So... why is he on your head? I willed myself not to laugh (I will not laugh, I will not laugh). I had to turn and look at the wall.

Then a woman came in with an iguana. She cuddled it, she caressed it, she kissed it on the lips. REPEATEDLY! It's okay to love your pets, but you don't need to loooove your pets, if you know what I mean. I stared at the wall even harder and bit my tongue.

When the parakeet was wheeled by with an oxygen mask, I had to excuse myself, go outside, and laugh hysterically. I'm all for saving animals, but honestly, let the poor bird die and be with its Maker! (do you think they have little defibrillator paddles for parakeets?)

When it was our turn, I - not Emma - had to tell the doctor that our hamsters have swollen bums and diarrhea. Do you know how humiliating that is (probably more for the hamsters, but that's beside the point). And guess who gets to force-feed them antibiotics every day?

On the other hand, I laughed all the way home, and that's worth something. ("Hey Dan, guess what I just saw...")