Some Important Instructions

Our fridge broke in July. We finally got a new one the other day (needless to say, I'm a little more than excited). I figured I should read the instruction manual, just to be responsible, but it turned out to be a masterpiece of badly translated English. Here are a few excerpts:

• Safety Precautions:

1. Read instructions.
2. Keep instructions.
3. Heed warning.
4. Follow the instructions of this manual in practice.
5. All procedures and instructions should be adhered to during operation.

• The fruit and vegetable compartment is appropriate to the storage of vegetables and fruit. You are allowed to adjust it.
• Don't let children play with or hang on the unit, as this will damage unit or children.
• If bickering is heard, it's the sound arising from refrigeration agent when it flows. It is not malfunction.
• Caution: After using the freezer, don't forget to shut the drawer.
• Deodorization: Clean up the odor inside and refrain from germ growing.
• Never put the refrigerator upside down.
• Water Tray: Screw off the screw and fix it as before after washing.
• In the event of a natural disaster (such as rainstorm, accidents), the submerged unit shall not be put into use until nominated service center repairs it and proves that it is in good condition.
• Caution: Tropical fruits, such as pineapple and banana, are not recommended.
• Any change relating to this manual will result in no additional notice.
  

After reading the manual, I feel like a technological genius!