My mind has been a huge battlefield these past two days. Emotion has been warring against (rather than working with) Intellect. I know God loves me but I don't feel that love. I know I'm made in the image of God but I don't feel beautiful or worthy.
Feelings are a tricky thing. They can lead us astray from what's actually happening and yet they can't really be discounted, either. I may not want to feel a certain way, but I have to concede that I do feel that way, even if it contrasts with what I know intellectually to be true. I can only deal with my feelings when I first acknowledge them.
Today my emotions are more in line with my intellect (at least, they're moving in that direction) and I am thankful for the grace that has been extended to me these past few days. My armour is a little dented, but you know what? That affirms I'm engaged in the battle. If my armour still looked shiny and new, I'd be assuming a position of passivity; I would have given up the fight. But I'm still fighting, and that gives me hope!
"Wanneer die Bose julle aanval, sal julle weerstand kan bied, en na die hele geveg verby is, sal julle nog vas staan." ~ Efesieërs 6,13
And after everything, to stand. Battle scars, dented armour and all. I'm still standing. And if you're not, take my hand. I'll help you to your feet. We can do this.
Feelings are a tricky thing. They can lead us astray from what's actually happening and yet they can't really be discounted, either. I may not want to feel a certain way, but I have to concede that I do feel that way, even if it contrasts with what I know intellectually to be true. I can only deal with my feelings when I first acknowledge them.
Today my emotions are more in line with my intellect (at least, they're moving in that direction) and I am thankful for the grace that has been extended to me these past few days. My armour is a little dented, but you know what? That affirms I'm engaged in the battle. If my armour still looked shiny and new, I'd be assuming a position of passivity; I would have given up the fight. But I'm still fighting, and that gives me hope!
"Wanneer die Bose julle aanval, sal julle weerstand kan bied, en na die hele geveg verby is, sal julle nog vas staan." ~ Efesieërs 6,13
And after everything, to stand. Battle scars, dented armour and all. I'm still standing. And if you're not, take my hand. I'll help you to your feet. We can do this.
1 comment:
*deep sigh*....I love you.
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