A Lesson in Grammar

I have never felt more "dumb" than I have in the past five and a half months. There is nothing like moving to another country to remind you of how little you really know.

Every day I have to sign off in my children's diaries (school books) that they have done their homework, and that I have looked over it. Because my children are still young, I have to supervise their homework. Already - with all three of them - they have gotten their homework marked poorly because I have "led them astray". Cases in point:

Ben. Ben had to colour in all of the pictures on the page that began with the letter "f". What I thought was clearly a dolphin was actually a "fish", so he missed that one. When he came to the "fridge", I thought, "No, 'fridge' is slang for 'refrigerator'. That starts with 'r'." I was wrong! Ben got a big "incomplete" stamped in red on his homework. When we got to the page for the letter "p", there was a picture of some turkeys. I thought, "Aha! Poultry!" His homework came back, "Mrs. Erickson, 'turkey' does not start with the letter 'p'. Please supervise your son's homework more carefully." So... is it a "bird", a "turkey" or "poultry"? I have never suffered more anxiety over the alphabet in my life!

Lucy. Lucy had to fill out a homework sheet last night for all of the emergency numbers in town. I have absolutely no idea what they are (why can't 9-1-1 be universal??). I had to explain to her, "I don't know the number for the ambulance, Lucy. Or the police. Or the fire brigade. The flying squad? What on earth is that? 'Montana +'? I have no idea what that is, either! Doctor? We don't have one yet. Our cell phone? Oh - I know that one!!!" So guess who's mum had to write a lovely note to the teacher saying (in so many words), "Dear Mrs. C. I am an incompetent idiot who cannot help her child with her homework. I looked in the phone book to try and find emergency numbers, but they aren't in there. Can you please tell me how one obtains such information in this country? Sincerely, Mrs. Dummy" In my defense, I know the number for the local pizza take-away place. That's an emergency number, right?

Emma. Emma is learning homophones in English. Homophones are words that sound alike but are spelled differently, such as "hear" and "here". Guess what words are homophones in South African English? I'll tell you, because you'll never guess, not in a million billion years: "sore" and "saw", "poor" and "paw". For the life of me I still can't make this work, although Emma's teacher assures me they are indeed homophones. Emma is still mad at me for causing her to score low marks on her homework. As for me, I'm starting to think I need to go back to Grade 1! No wonder no one understands me when I do my shopping!

This morning in devotions we read 2 Corinthians 3. Here is verse 5: "Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God." I didn't know whether to laugh or cry... so I did both! There are some who treat the Scriptures with an austere holiness, and the Scriptures ARE holy, but sometimes the Word of God makes me giggle uncontrollably. I think God understands, don't you?

I am so glad that I will not be getting into heaven based upon my merits, let alone my English grammar!! Praise God for loving us as we are, and dealing with us patiently and gently! I suppose as long as I can get good marks on my homework for Him, the rest will fall into place.... eventually.....maybe.....