My Secret Life as a Slush Puppy Operator

My children's school was hosting the district athletics (track and field) competition today. I am one of the parent volunteers, so I helped in the tuck shop (snack shack) all day. I was very excited to be placed in charge of the slush puppy machine.

I knew it was going to be a long day, so I had it all figured out: I was going to pretend I was an undercover journalist writing an exposé on the secret lives of slush puppy machine operators (as long as the scandal didn't involve me!). I figured that would make it fun, right? Only... what I hadn't counted on was that of the eleven schools that were there, ten of them were Afrikaans speaking.

Suddenly I was thrust into the world of an Afrikaans-speaking tuck shop worker. It was nine hours of do-or-die, crash course Afrikaans. I had to learn the slang words for all the sweeties (candy) - wurmpies en telefoontjies (these gummy things), sjokolade eiertjies en tjippies, I had to learn the difference between gegeurde water and gewone water, and I had to know how to make gemengde slush puppies - combining al drie geure. Ag, ek is baie jammer. Die blou is nog nie bevries nie. Wil jy rooi of pers kry? I learned the difference between a bottel Coke and a blikkie Coke, and just when I was starting to feel confident....

An old lady came along. A sweet, cute little old lady, who ever so politely asked for a "Fanta lemoen." And I, who had been lulled into a false sense of slush puppy security, thought to myself, we don't have Fanta lemon, but we have Lemon Twist. That must be what she means....

I handed her the lemon Twist. That's when the red laser beams shot out of her eyes - "Nie SUURlemoen nie... LEMOEN. Is jy dof?" Uh-oh. That's right. Lemoen is "orange" in Afrikaans. Oops. Ek is baie jammer, Tannie. Ek leer nog Afrikaans (I'm so sorry; I'm still learning Afrikaans). She switched to English as the laser beam eyes dwindled to smoldering embers "Keep practicing," she said.

And so, my life as an Afrikaans tuck shop worker has come to an end. My brain feels like a slush puppy, I am covered in taaie gegeurde stroop, and yes, Tannie, soms is ek dof.

But still, it was sort of fun.

Icebreaker Questions

You know those questions designed to break the silence and get to know a person, such as "If you could have any superpower, what would you choose and why?"

I hate those questions. I wish I could come up with some cheeky answer, but I can never seem to think fast enough. (Example: If you were stranded on a deserted island and could only take one book with you, which book would you take and why? Answer: A Practical Guide to Ship Building)

However, I am happy to say that I FINALLY know the answer to the superpower question (and it's not even cheeky!) -

If I could have any superpower, I would choose the ability to understand every culture, worldview and mindset, and while I might not agree with them, I would at least be able to fully understand where people are coming from and could therefore converse with them more meaningfully.

This was prompted by a coffee date I had with a friend who works at the Japanese Embassy, as well as recent headlines about our president, who has 5 wives, 1 fiancee, 2 girlfriends and 20 children.

There are some things my small Western brain cannot begin to grasp, let alone understand. And I wish I could. I really do.

A Slow News Day

I probably shouldn't do this, but... it's just too funny to pass up. Here was the newspaper headline one week ago:


And here was this morning's headline:

I Tip My Hat to You

"It seemed like a dream, too good to be true... we were the talk of the nations... God was wonderful to us... And now God, do it again - bring rains to our drought-stricken lives so those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest, so those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing." - excerpts from Psalm 126, The Message

I was really struck by the phrase "those who planted their crops in despair." I imagine it must take a tremendous amount of courage to keep going - to "plant your crops" - when you've lost hope. Personally, I have the tendency to give up, hide under my pillow and indulge in one huge pity party. But to get up, keep going, persevere, even though all hope is gone and the odds are stacked against you... that takes guts.

For those of you who are persevering despite what your circumstances tell you, who keep their eyes on Jesus even though all else would tell you to give up.... for you I am giving a standing ovation. And I have no doubt - NO doubt - that one day you will come home laughing, carrying armloads of blessing. Here's to the future harvest.

More Inspiring Than Television

There's nothing like having a mean stomach flu to cause you to appreciate abdominal muscles you never knew you had! I've been down for the count the past few days, and rather than watch TV all day, I read through the South African Constitution. Nerdy, perhaps, but since I live in South Africa I thought it was high time to know about the foundation for government policy. Besides, South Africa is reported to have one of the most progressive constitutions when it comes to human rights. So, for your reading pleasure (and comparison, if you so choose), here are the preambles of the U.S. Constitution and the South African Constitution:

Preamble to the Constitution of the United States of America:

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

Preamble to the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa:

We, the people of South Africa,
Recognise the injustices of our past;
Honour those who suffered for justice and freedom in our land;
Respect those who have worked to build and develop our country; and
Believe that South Africa belongs to all who live in it, united in our diversity.

We therefore, through our freely elected representatives, adopt this Constitution as the supreme law of the Republic so as to

• Heal the divisions of the past and establish a society based on democratic values, social justice and fundamental human rights;
• Lay the foundations for a democratic and open society in which government is based on the will of the people and every citizen is equally protected by law;
• Improve the quality of life of all citizens and free the potential of each person; and
• Build a united and democratic South Africa able to take its rightful place as a sovereign state in the family of nations.

May God protect our people.
Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika. Morena boloka setjhaba se heso.
God seën Suid-Afrika. God bless South Africa.
Mudzimu fhatutshedza Afurika. Hosi katekisa Afrika.

Padtekens vs. Road signs

They're changing the road signs around Pretoria, putting up English signs in place of Afrikaans signs. I don't know if this is because of the upcoming World Cup or if it's one of those "Tshwane vs. Pretoria" things (and that battle is still going on).

In any case, there was a sign we passed every day - "Tuinafvalterrein" which indicated a place to dump garden refuse - grass clippings, pruned branches, etc. Today we noticed the sign had been replaced by an English sign. I think it was supposed to say "Garden Refuse" but instead it says:

We have a lovely Botanical Garden on the other side of the hill.... I hope no one gets confused!

Birthdays, South African Style

We don't host a party for our kids every year on their birthday, so on the "off" years we just invite family over to celebrate. But because we live so far away from family, Lucy decided to adopt four of our favourite South African families and invite them over for her "family" party.

The way birthdays seem to work over here is that you just invite people over on a particular day to share some coffee and cake. Throughout the day, people trickle in and out, visit for a while, and then go on with their day. We ended up hosting people for over five hours, much longer than an "official" birthday party would have been, but it was relaxed and nice to visit with people one-on-one.

I am slowly getting it into my thick skull that South Africans are a relational people. It's not so much about schedules or official time tables... it's about slowing down and enjoying some good coffee with friends (and the good coffee is at our house, so we are guaranteed lots of opportunities to host our friends and adopted family).

Lucy's party wasn't really a party at all, but it was one of the best birthday celebrations ever. We got to connect - really connect - with some of our favourite people. I think I like birthday celebrations in South Africa better.