Lightbulb Moment

"And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:19

I realised today that I've always taken this verse to mean that God will provide for me based on an American standard of living, where wants are often mistaken for needs and comfort is an inalienable right.

How absolutely foolish I've been. I've been angry at God more than once because He didn't provide in the way that I thought He should, in the way that He was "supposed" to (notice the focus on the word "I"). Just when I think I'm getting somewhere I realise what an idiot I am at times.

My Kitchen Soundtrack

I've been working in the kitchen a lot the past few days. From good-bye parties that I have to cook for to family dinners to baking biscuits for teachers... it seems like I can't escape the kitchen. To make the time go by, I invented a special "playlist" to accompany whatever might be going on:

Track 1: (while cracking or pounding peanuts) Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition XIV: The Hut on Fowl's Legs (Baba Yaga)
Track 2: (while chopping onions) Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata
Track 3: (while frosting cupcakes) Henry Mancini's Walk of the Baby Elephant
Track 4: (while tossing salad) Chopin's Mazurka #5 in B-flat
Track 5: (for that perfect, glorious soufflé that's coming out of the oven) Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition XV: The Great Gate of Kiev
Track 6: (for that first cup of coffee on a Saturday morning) Mozart's Clarinet Concerto in A Major, II. Adagio
Track 7: (when you're trying to translate a recipe from Afrikaans to English or from Imperial measurements to Metric AND guests are coming) Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries
Track 8: (when you cut your finger dicing vegetables) Rimsky-Korsakov's Sheherazade: 1. Largo e maestoso
Track 9: (realising you have a huge stack of dishes to wash) Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet: Act IV, Epilogue, LI, Juliet's Funeral
Track 10: (I am done in the kitchen and am going upstairs to read!) Holst's The Planets, IV. Jupiter

Tuesdays With Auntie Hope

You know what I love about Auntie Hope? She doesn't seem to worry about the little things in life. She could, too, given her situation.

I, on the other hand, have been stressing enough for the both of us. From worrying about gathering documents to apply for our temporary residence visas, to treating head lice, to finances, to the ants I found on my desk... it's enough to keep me awake at night and grumpy during the day. I actually found it hard to be sociable today because the head lice thing is absolutely consuming me with worry (What if it never goes away? What if I have to wash all the bedding in the house every day forever? What if I have to spend hours each day going hair by hair, looking for eggs, and how will I get my other work done?)

As I tried to force myself to have a decent conversation, I suddenly wondered, "If I make to the age of 84, will I look back on the head lice incident and wonder why I worried so much? Will I have amassed enough wisdom by then to "not sweat the small stuff," and will I be more accepting of life's challenges? Auntie Hope is teaching me these things through the simple act of growing old gracefully. I hope I can live up to her example one day.

"Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" - Matthew 6:27, NIV

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes." - Matthew 6:34, The Message

I'm Sure You've All Been Wondering...

I told you last week that I would try and sit for five minutes each day, just being silent and observing life. Here's my report back:

Day 1: Fell asleep.
Day 2: Forgot.
Day 3: Noticed the many different birds outside my window and remembered that South Africa has more bird species than all the countries of North America combined.
Day 4: Taking deep breaths is actually nice.
Day 5: Forgot again.
Day 6: Ran around like a maniac all day.
Day 7: Horrid day. Cried. Remembered to sit and be still for five minutes. Noticed that a red bishop who had claimed our yard (and then left when our tree fell down) was back. Felt better.

As you can see, I'm not so good at sitting still and just being. 3 days out of 7 is not a great track record. I did notice, however, that on the days I actually managed to "do nothing" for five minutes I felt so much better. I relaxed. I noticed nature. I got a tiny dose of perspective. Funny how all that could happen in a mere five minutes, but it did.

I'm going to keep trying. It seems so silly (and embarrassing) that I find this so difficult, but I do.

Some Days are Like That...

Do you ever have one of those days where you smash your finger, then go surfing down aisle 13 at the grocery store because someone spilled clear dishwashing liquid on the linoleum floor, and while you're surfing you somehow manage to run over your foot with the shopping trolley (which gracefully causes you to forget that your finger hurts but terribly wounds your pride because your host culture is, unfortunately, one that laughs when others are injured) and when you finally make it home you discover that your "Proudly South African" toilet has a mind of its own and flushes itself every few minutes? South Africa does not seem to like me today, and quite frankly, the feeling is mutual. :-)

Starbucks, You Have Lost Your Glory

I used to miss Starbucks. Truth be told, I still do sometimes. As of today, however, I think they've gone too far. I'm actually glad I'm living in Africa; I think the perspective on what we really need in life is a little more healthy.

There are times when my opinion comes across too strongly. That is not my intent. I just think this new "Trenta" sized cup (916 ml) is a mirror image of how low America has sunk in terms of self-gratification and greed. According to the wikiHow blog, the Trenta has enough caffeine to substitute for a defibrillator... and that pretty much says it all.

Tuesdays With Auntie Hope

Today, not only did Auntie hope *not* tell the same two stories, she said something she's never said before: "Do you see that vase over there? I bought it because it reminded me of my mother - tall, clean, straight, no-nonsense and pure."

I must admit that I've never looked at a vase and thought, "That reminds me of so-and-so." All the same, I was touched by Auntie Hope's observation. It made me realise how little I observe anything, partly because I'm always busy. It's not that I have too much on my calendar; but I find that if I have free time, I usually fill it with tasks - baking a special treat for breakfast, trimming plants, cleaning something I never manage to clean on a regular basis, doing something with one of the kids. I never just sit. Or observe.

Older people seem to have a lot more free time. Maybe it's because they're too wise to fill every spare second with work. Maybe it's because it's their time to slow down. Whatever the reason, they seem better equipped to just sit and be at ease. And I think they notice a lot of things that we miss.

I think I'm going to try to just sit for five minutes each day - not in front of a computer, not with a book in my hand, not with any other distraction. I'll let you know how it goes.. or if I last more than a day or two!