Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Tension Between Doubt and Faith, Part VIII

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" - Mark 9:24

So where does this leave us?  I have no answers of certitude, no final thoughts except to say this:

It's okay to wrestle with God, doubt and faith.  Pursue God.  Push through the dark times.  And don't let anyone make you feel like a "bad" Christian for struggling with issues of faith and doubt.  It's normal... dare I even say healthy.  Embrace the fact that doubt and faith aren't always mutually exclusive.

For myself, I choose to persevere, even in the face of doubt, even if there's "nothing in it for me" except to pursue God and to know Him better than I do now.  I choose this because I believe there is a Purpose greater than myself that is worth sacrificing my own wants and needs for.

In the movie Shadowlands, C.S. Lewis' character says, "Why love if losing hurts so much?  I have no answers anymore.  Only the life I have lived.  Twice in that life I've been given the choice: as a boy and as a man.  The boy chose safety; the man chooses suffering.  The pain now is part of the happiness then.  That's the deal."

I think the same thing could be said of faith.  I'm holding on to the idea that to risk walking forward in faith - even when doubts are looming over my head - will lead to beautiful new vistas of understanding, relationship and growth.  Growing sometimes hurts.  Grow anyway.

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