Saturday, March 5, 2011

A Wounded Soldier's Lesson in Grammar

yet, adv. 1. still; even. 2. nevertheless; in spite of. conjunction 1. but at the same time; but nevertheless

We've been battling trying to renew our temporary residence visas. I knew it would be a long process, but I had no idea it would push me to the breaking point. Yesterday I wanted to give up, literally. And I'm not a quitter.

When you work so hard for something, when you've left everything to follow God and then He seems to be silent, what then? When your faith is stretched so that holes of doubt peek through, when you feel exhausted to the point of tears, when you find yourself whispering "I can't do this anymore," what next?


The truth is, I know myself. I know that I won't give up because I'm stubborn. I know that I will go down fighting rather than quit because I know what God has called me to do. My path forward is understood, so it doesn't matter if all of my circumstances and senses say, "Doubt!" - I still have to trust Him. And that's really where the heart of the battle is, isn't it? The battle is not with the Dept. of Home Affairs; it's with me.

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Saviour. The Sovereign Lord is my strength; He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, He enables me to tread on the heights." - Habakkuk 3:17-19


indieKate said...

You're stronger than you give yourself credit for... Keep Faith!

Dianne said...

And note it does not say "rejoice in the circumstances" says, "I will rejoice in the Lord". When we keep our eyes fixed on Him, there is much over which to rejoice...we rejoice for Who He is and because He is worthy. As we lose ourselves in worship of Him, He lifts us up...heals us...restores us...

jonna said...

I've been thinking about you and your family a lot lately as I've read over your most recent posts. Praying that you will be able to continue to trust Him even as you run into obstacles and fight against the doubt that is crowding in.