Friday, May 6, 2011

I Can't Believe I'm Saying This

The grieving process is a funny thing. A few days ago I needed to go to the bank to deposit some cash. I waited in the queue for - I kid you not - 90 minutes. Because the queue was that long.

Normally this would drive me absolutely mad, but lately I've been feeling like life is moving by too quickly. I just want some time to be still and process my dad's death, but it seems like I've had to plunge immediately back into life. There are people to host, work to do, children to parent, not to mention the daily chores that seem to be silently screaming at me ("Wash me!" "Cook me!" "Dust me!")

Standing in a queue and not having to speak to anyone for 90 minutes was, strangely enough, therapeutic. I got to be alone with my thoughts for longer than I've had since my dad died. I know it's bizarre, for under any other circumstance I would be frustrated. This time, however, the long queue was a blessing.

I wonder how many other things are like that - irritations to most, but for some (or even one) a real blessing?

3 comments:

The Feys said...

I have found that to be true as well. I haven't been grieving a death, but am already grieving all we are leaving and when I find myself alone and kind of "stuck" in a line, or in the car, I find that I can finally breathe.

Annie said...

Aw Jonna, I'm so sorry. I know the last few months with all of the good-byes are rough. I'm praying for you!

Dianne said...

I can relate. I find being stuck in traffic therapeutic for the same reasons. :)