And That Pretty Much Sums It Up...

"We all have wounds. We all live in pain and disappointment. We all have feelings of loneliness that lurk beneath all our successes, feelings of uselessness that hide under all the praise, feelings of meaninglessness even when people say we are fantastic - and that is what makes us sometimes grab onto people and expect from them affection, affirmation and love they cannot give. If we want other people to give us something that only God can give, we are guilty of idolatry. We say, 'Love me!' and before long we become demanding and manipulative...

"...But human beings, whether it's your husband, your wife, your father, mother, brother, sister or child, are all limited in giving the level of love and acceptance we all crave. Since we want so much and we get only part of what we want, we have to keep on forgiving people for not giving us what we want. So, I forgive you since you can only love me in a limited way. I forgive my mother that she is not everything I would like her to be. I forgive my father because he did the best he could. This is of enormous importance right now because constantly people look to blame their parents, their friends, and the church for not giving them what they need. Many people are angry. They cannot forgive people for offering only limited expressions of an unlimited love. God's love is unlimited; ours is not. Any relationship you enter into - in communion, friendship, marriage, community or church - will always be riddled with frustration and disappointment. So forgiveness becomes the word for divine love in the human context." - Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Direction