I kind of had one of those "duh" moments today. I've been trying to figure out what to do with my music this year - whether to sing in a choir again, or pick up my clarinet and really pursue that, or... So many options, so little time. I love it all, to be honest, but just don't have the time to fully devote myself to more than one activity.
I've really been battling with what to do (I hate having options; they make me feel like a deer in headlights). Last night I poured my heart out to God and ended with the question, "What IS it You've called me to do??"
God actually answered me.
God: "Annie, do you know that I've called you to the city of Pretoria?"
Me: (pause) "Well, it's not the city I would have chosen - no Starbucks or Mexican food, and the ice cream is made with vegetable fat instead of cream..."
God: "Annie."
Me: "Yes, Lord. I do know that You have called me here, and I have never doubted that calling."
God: "Then let your life be your instrument. Whatever I ask you do on any particular day, let that be the sound you produce for Me."
This might not mean anything to you but it is profound for me because it frees me up immensely. I don't have to figure out every little detail. I just have to do what God requires of me each day. And that's not to say I have to give up music. I just don't need to hyper-focus on things when there isn't an immediate answer.
5 comments:
Annie, this is just what I needed to read. I am already getting myself all worked up in the why and the what of moving to South Africa. Worrying about why we are going and what we are going to do once we are there. God knows. He may not be choosing to lay it all out for me to see, but He knows and will show me each day what I have been called to do, if I am willing to look to Him and listen!
And I totally agree with you on the ice cream. I missed "normal" ice cream so much when we were there in 2008, but I LOVED me some Cape Malva pudding!!!
Oh not me - the malva pudding is too sweet, as are koeksisters and almost every other dessert here.
How are your moving plans coming? Any date yet? I can relate to the anxiety and all the questions. :-) I'll be praying for you.
We have tickets-leaving here June 11, arriving the 13th very early in the morning after a 10 hour layover in London. That ought to be fun! We just moved into an apartment last Saturday. Still feel like I have more questions than answers about this whole move, but I am trying to move forward willingly and not stubbornly!
The 10-hour layover... We've done that before. Not fun. Last time we took a taxi and went to Windsor Castle. We had our three kids with us, as well as our carry-ons, but it was fun.
Let me know if you need anything when June comes!
We are hoping the 10 hour layover means our kids will sleep during the flight from London to Jozi, but we shall see! It could totally backfire on us. We are hoping to leave some of our carry-ons at the airport, as we'll be dragging around a lot of electronics! It cost quite a bit per bag, but we figured it would be worth it.
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