I kind of had one of those "duh" moments today. I've been trying to figure out what to do with my music this year - whether to sing in a choir again, or pick up my clarinet and really pursue that, or... So many options, so little time. I love it all, to be honest, but just don't have the time to fully devote myself to more than one activity.
I've really been battling with what to do (I hate having options; they make me feel like a deer in headlights). Last night I poured my heart out to God and ended with the question, "What IS it You've called me to do??"
God actually answered me.
God: "Annie, do you know that I've called you to the city of Pretoria?"
Me: (pause) "Well, it's not the city I would have chosen - no Starbucks or Mexican food, and the ice cream is made with vegetable fat instead of cream..."
Me: "Yes, Lord. I do know that You have called me here, and I have never doubted that calling."
God: "Then let your life be your instrument. Whatever I ask you do on any particular day, let that be the sound you produce for Me."
This might not mean anything to you but it is profound for me because it frees me up immensely. I don't have to figure out every little detail. I just have to do what God requires of me each day. And that's not to say I have to give up music. I just don't need to hyper-focus on things when there isn't an immediate answer.