Grace is totally alien to human psychology.
How desperately I want to be able to contribute something to the deal - my faith, my effort, my love, my belief. But the bottom line is that Perfect Love meets me where I am and asks only that I open my heart and receive the love for which I long.
It is surrender to love that I really resist. I am willing to accept measured doses of love as long as it doesn't upset the basic framework of my world. That framework is built on the assumption that people get what they deserve. That's what I really want. I want to earn what I get. And for the most part I am content to get what I earn.
The Christian God comes to us as wholly other - so different from the gods of my imagination, so far beyond my control. Encountering such a God is terrifying because encountering Perfect Love is an invitation to abandon ego. A god of our own making would be much less terrifying. But such a god could not offer me what I most deeply need - release from my fears and healing of my brokenness.
-David Benner, Surrender to Love