Worse Than Green Eggs and Ham

There are Rock Pigeons in my roof. I've called Pest Control three times, but the birds still manage to come back. We've removed nests, sprayed, put in mesh, metal spikes - you name it - but the birds insist upon making a home in my roof.

So, in the spirit of Dr. Seuss, I have a few things to say about Rock Pigeons:


I do not like Rock Pigeon birds
Especially in family herds

I do not like them in my roof
I do not like them in a kloof

I do not want them on a ledge
Please push them o'er the steepest edge

I do not like them, Pest Control
I do not want them here at all!

They carry mites and fleas and things
They're rather more like rats with wings

Why are they keen on urban life?
I only like them dood en styf

So, Pest Control, I'll pay you geld
To chase them to the lower veld

Away from all my property
Because, you see, they bother me!

They build a nest above my head
While I lie sleeping in my bed

I hear them scratching in the beams
And cooing, mating, in my dreams

They enter through the tile and bricks;
I hit the roof with hockey sticks!

But still they persevere to stay -
For free! - what cheeky nerve have they!

I do not like Rock Pigeon birds
And now I have run out of words.