Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Day 14 - Tears and the Grace of Striped Socks

Today was rough.  I thought I had this down - this seeing God's love and basking in it - but I couldn't see it at all today.  In fact, everything I saw today seemed to scream, "You're a failure. You're worthless.  Give up!"  And I don't like admitting that to you.  I want to have a beautiful insight to share with you, I want to encourage you, I want to share how I've grown with you.  But I can't today.

All I can share with you are my tears and my confession:  I didn't feel God's love today.  I couldn't even love myself today.  And I hate not being able to get past that.  I share this because I respect you enough to be honest with you in saying that growth is hard sometimes.  Facing my issues is, well... it sucks.  But I'm going to keep at it.  And I can say with certainty - and even a faint glimmer of hope - that tomorrow is another day.  And maybe... if some of you felt like that today as well, you can know that you weren't alone.  We can cry together and share the journey towards healing and wholeness.

I did see this today, however, which made me smile:

In order to get that photo without the cute old couple knowing, I had to take a bunch of photos that looked like this:

Needless to say they noticed that.  I'm sure they're still talking about the weird lady who kept taking photos of her toes...