An Unconventional Teacher

My second daughter, Lucy, has had a rough time in school this year. Kids can be mean, no matter where you live. I thought I probably shouldn't post this story, but the more I think about it the funnier it becomes...

Last week someone wrote a nasty note to another student, and signed Lucy's name to it. The teacher, Mrs. B, found it and called Lucy to her desk. Before I proceed with the story you have to visualise Mrs. B - an older teacher of retirement age, very proper, perfectly clipped British accent, and a rather expressionless face. Okay, so Mrs. B called Lucy up and said (in her perfectly clipped British accent), "Lucy, spell f***." Lucy looked at her, eyes widening, and kept her mouth closed. Mrs. B reassured her, "I have a good reason for this, Lucy. Please just spell f*** for me." So Lucy spelled the dreaded f-word for her in a barely audible voice. Then Mrs. B said to the class, "I knew Lucy didn't write this note because Lucy can spell and whoever wrote this note can't. You may be seated, Lucy."

Well! That's one way to solve the mystery. I would have thought she would have recognised the handwriting, or known Lucy's character, or.... something. But to conclude Lucy didn't write it based on spelling skills is, ummm, unconventional. Creative. I'm not sure what to think, but every time I think of Mrs. B saying the f-word in her British accent it makes me laugh. We obviously don't use that word but I guess in my experience it's always been said in a rough, American, gang-type accent.

What mortified me more than anything, though, was that Lucy not only knew the word but knew how to spell it. When I asked her how she knew this, she looked at me with that you're-so-out-of-it look and said, "MOTHER... it's all over the bathroom stall walls!" Oh...