Friday, February 27, 2009

But Patience, To Prevent That Murmur...

Do you ever feel like you have a skill/talent that just sits there unused? Do you ever wonder why God made you good at something if He never wants to use it? I feel like that often, specifically with music. I am bursting with songs, but I feel like a racehorse always stuck in the gate. I have tried so many different ways to serve God through music, but always seem to be beating my head against a wall.

I really do want to have a spirit of humility, a servant's heart, and to be gracious. I pray for this all the time. I also realise that sometimes God has people in a period of waiting, for whatever reason. I feel, though, if someone doesn't let me share my music I'm truly going to explode. I wish waiting were easy. I also wish God would remove that longing during times of waiting.

John Milton wrote this in 1655 (or thereabouts). It's Sonnet XIX, also called "On His Blindness":

When I consider how my light is spent
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide
Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide
"Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
Either man's work or his own gifts: who best
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at His bidding speed
And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
They also serve who only stand and wait."

1 comment:

Tammy and Joe said...

Dear Mrs. Erickson,
Thanks for this post. Although I know you did it years ago, it speaks to me today because I am living and working in Shanghai, China and finding the same musical problem. It's not really a Chinese problem, or even a matter of international worship, but of how the body of Christ is changing musically to reach souls. I am a seminary-trained church musician, but all my "book larnin'" seems to be for naught lately; even my seminary has closed its school of music.
I write to you for one other reason (and I hope you get notice of this comment to an ancient post): my husband and I will be moving to Pretoria in late July to work at the international school there (I'm assuming there is only one). We have been reading your blog with gratefulness, as we moved to Shanghai with little knowledge of daily life. You are giving us a great gift, and we hope to be able to repay you soon. In the meantime, may you and I both find a way to live Colossians 3:16... even at church!
Peace, Tammy Rauschenbach (violindiva67@yahoo.com)