Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Journal of the Spa, Part 7

13h45 - Sylvia gives me a facial. I feel guilty about this day, which has been so unproductive on my part, but I remind myself that it was a gift from Dan.  I fall asleep praying about my head...

Lord, these eyes of mine - you know how fiery they can be. Help them to instead reflect Your love and compassion.  My smile, which is often upside down - I want my smile to somehow echo Your joy.  The rest of my face - I would like it to display Your peace and contentment. And Lord, there is so much knowledge in the world to be learned.  Help me to have the discernment to learn only that which would teach me of You and help me step into Your call upon my life.  Help me not to waste my time amassing knowledge that I do not need.

I desire that my mouth would speak words of encouragement, truth and inspiration. I want my story – my life – to be one of redemption that lends courage to the downtrodden, hope to the disillusioned, and strength to the weak.  And my voice, Lord... if I sing, then let me sing of You.  For You. Would You give meaning to my song so that it would sweetly beckon the world to follow You, to find healing and wholeness in You?

Would you infuse every cell of my body so that my very being is a unique interpretation of Your love for creation, for mankind, for me? Would you sync my heartbeat to Your rhythms, my ears to Your melody and my eyes to the dynamics of Your music?  Lord, you know how great the distance from where I am to where I would like to be...  what my life is and what I would like it to become... I have so much to learn, so far to go...
Words begin to fail me; my thoughts become less and less coherent. I am sinking into the earth – into nature – and the more empty I become the more room there is to be filled by Jesus. Paradoxically, the more I “lose” myself in Him, the more I find my truest self.

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